Listen to this read ^^

Not “would I want their life?” Something that makes it crystal clear if their advice will work for me.

Here’s something I’ve been thinking about. We give a lot of advice as people. A LOT. & most of it nobody asked for.

That’s the first thing. When it’s unsolicited …when you’re handing someone advice they didn’t ask you for, you’re mostly just spending your own energy trying to move something that was never yours to move.

But the flip side is the one I actually want to talk about. What do you do when you’re the one being given advice?

Because I remember, in the early years of business & honestly the early years of life, when someone gave me advice, especially someone who mattered to me, a family member, a close friend, I felt almost compelled to follow it, I gave it so much weight. Like their caring about me obligated me to listen to them or meant they knew what was best for me.

The way the personal development industry tries to solve this now is that line everybody repeats: don’t take advice from someone whose life you don’t want.

& look, in theory, sure. But it’s so black & white. It’s almost materialistic. It flattens a whole person down to whether you’d swap places with them.

The question that actually works

Here’s what’s been genuinely helpful for me instead. When someone gives me advice, I ask:

What would this person have to believe in order to give me this advice?

That’s it. That’s the whole thing. What belief is sitting underneath this? & is it a belief I carry? One I agree with? One I want to take with me?

Because sometimes the answer is: this is coming from a place of pain. Or fear. Or their own story, their own trauma, their own values that were never mine to begin with.

Let me give you a real one

Take Alex Hormozi. This man gives a LOT of advice. & I want to be clear, I respect & admire what he’s built. I own most of his books.

But watch him for five minutes & run the question.

“What would he have to believe to give me this advice?”

He’s talked about piling 2,000 calories into one breakfast so you don’t have to bother eating the rest of the day. Okay. What would I have to believe to hand someone that advice? That my own time isn’t worth the interruption. That being fed well doesn’t matter. That quantity beats quality, that the body is a machine you refuel as fast as possible so you can get back to work.

I don’t want those beliefs. So I don’t want the advice. Even though I admire the man.

Here’s where it gets more interesting though because it’s not always so clean.

Take “send a hundred DMs a day.” Run the question & you actually get two possible answers.

Maybe he believes people are numbers. That it’s all just a volume game & you spray & pray until the math works.

OR — maybe he believes his product is so genuinely good, so life-changing, that he gets to message a hundred people a day for the chance to change one life.

Same advice. Two completely different roots. & one of those beliefs I’d never want to carry, & the other one? Honestly wouldn’t be so bad to have.

That’s the whole point. It was never about whether Hormozi is right. It’s about which belief is underneath the thing he’s handing me, & whether I want to carry it around in my own body all day… or for the rest of my life.

Because I might want his business. But I don’t have to want his 7am-to-midnight to get there. Every time he says just work harder, put in more reps — I get to ask what that’s built on, & decide if it belongs to me or not.

Everybody is projecting. Including the people who love you.

Once you start seeing this, you can’t unsee it. Everyone is walking around projecting their own internal world outward. Their beliefs, their wounds, their values, pressing all of it onto everything they look at. Not because they’re bad people. Because they’re people. That’s the human thing. We project the inside out so we can finally see it.

Most people never quite get to the part where they realize almost everything outside of them is a mirror. But, I digress.

The point is: the advice someone gives you is a photograph of their inner world. Not a map to your dream destination.

So here’s where I’ve landed

I don’t really take advice from people I don’t pay anymore. & even then, I question it.

Not because I think I know better than everyone. Because I know me better than everyone. & those are not the same thing.

The internet, your loved ones, the world at large is going to keep drowning you in advice. Some of it from people you admire. Some of it from people who genuinely love you. & almost none of it examined for the belief sitting underneath it.

So before you pick a piece of it up & carry it into your business, your body, your life — just run the question.

What would this person have to believe to give me this? & do I want that belief in me?

Because you can want someone’s results & still not want the beliefs that built them. You’re allowed to admire the whole life & leave the parts that were never yours on the shelf.

Have you considered that the advice was never the thing to evaluate?

Whats your relationship to advice right now?

AYSM (appreciate you so much)

Cora-Lynn

You’re talking. You’re showing up. Every single day. You’re talking about your offer, you’re talking about what you do, you’re doing THE thing everyone told you to do.

& nothing’s moving.

No one’s buying. No one’s booking. & you’re standing there like… but I’m saying it? I’m literally saying it every day?

Look. Here’s the part no one wants to hear.

“Someday” is not a compliment

You already know the connection is there. Because you keep hearing it. You’re so inspiring. I love your content. I listen to your podcast. Omg I’d love to work with you someday. We should chat about what it even looks like to work with you.

& that feels amazing. It IS amazing. The trust is there, the love is there, the want is there.

But “someday” & “let’s chat about what it looks like” aren’t compliments.

Read that one again.

They’re the sound someone makes when there’s no door. When they’d walk through it if they could find it & they can’t find it, because you never built the frame. You’ve been so busy talking about the room that you forgot to show them where it is.

& that’s not a you problem. That’s a fixable problem. That’s the best kind.

Your offer is its own entity & it has needs

Here’s the thing I had to learn the hard way: your program is its own entity. It has needs. & the first thing it needs is for people to be crystal clear on what it actually IS. Not the vibe of it. The it.

Talking head is great. Yapping is great. But if all you ever do is talk & drop the name a couple times, you’re not giving anyone enough to actually say yes. You’re not building hype. You’re hiding it. In plain sight. With your whole face on camera.

Because here’s what the talking does, it tells the story. & story is everything. Story is what moves people, what makes them feel it, what makes them cry in their car. I will never tell you to talk less about the story.

But story doesn’t close. Story opens.

The logical brain needs something to hold. It needs the static post it can pause on. The one that says this is what it is, this is what’s inside, this is who it’s for, here’s the next cohort, here’s exactly how you join. The unsexy one. The one you keep skipping because it doesn’t feel as fun to make as talking does.

That’s the one that closes.

& when you do both the story that makes them feel it AND the static that lets them understand it people finally get the whole picture. Emotionally in. Logically clear. & then they move.

Show your product like you believe in it

Look at any brand you actually admire. They show their product every single day. Not because they ran out of ideas. Because they believe in the fucking thing.

Your offer needs that from you. It needs you to advocate for it - not just in the way that feels comfy & fun & on-brand, but in the way that’s clear. Even when clear feels a little disruptive. Even when it feels like too much.

That’s the job. That’s what leading with the ripple actually asks of you.

Have you considered that you’re already incredible at talking about your offer & the only thing left is to actually show them the power of it? Consistently. On purpose. Like you mean it.